A Shared Moment of Duplicity

Tournament Browser

2008-06-07T10:16:00.001+01:00

28.08.07 - 27.05.08 R.I.P. "Pinkie"

2008-06-02T22:01:00.002+01:00

I have been away these last few days...mourning...mourning the loss of Pinkie...she was with me, day and night. Always expecting me with joy in the morning, never asking me any stupid questions like "do you still love me?", she knew I did.

We shared some great moments together in fact she left with all of them.
The strong memory of running out on the road onto which I only moments earlier had stepped out onto, in the hectic traffic, leaving my car on hazards, is still vivid...I find it hard not to start crying again...I parked and realised she was gone. In slow motion I ran up the street and saw her afar, in the middle of the street, half open, I hurried up to her but it was too late....she was brutally run over...dead.
I looked at the cracked screen and tried to put the battery on again, tears rolling down my face, but she didn't stay a chance.

Life hasn't been the same since...and I doubt it ever will..her happy little tone telling me someone was thinking of me, her happy chirp during the day, twice, to remind me of different things, all the numbers lost, 400+ pix of special moments never to be seen again and many many voice-dictaphone-recordings of creative-bliss-ideas...
Bye Pinkie R.I.P.

A Girl's Best Friend

2008-05-25T17:34:00.002+01:00

Best film since 'The Darjeeling Ltd'

This is about Mary who is relationship-phobic who suddenly gets the (unwanted) task of driving her mother's Jack Russell, Binky, through US. The trip is more than that of a courier but more of a journey of self-discovery, loosing Binky in the middle of it all and reshaping her thoughts of her relationship.

Extremely honest and heart-warming and if nothing else, she drives a PINK CADILLAC!

Intrested? Check more on http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1086213/ and add it to your lovefilm/amazon-wishlist.

The Love of God

2008-05-25T14:08:00.003+01:00

I have struggled to accept God's Love, or rather, to be convinced, that He really can and does love..me..So much to the point that I have been mean to myself, intermittendely. Varying from thoughts to action.

This morning I prayed to understand His love. I didn't have time to do my usual reading and praying in the morning so went straight to church instead.
I was very touched through what was said, many things as if He was speaking straight to me. I got home and decided to do the reading and came to John chapter 17 verses 1-26...afterwards I just cried, and understood His undying Love for us, both to those who follow Him and those who turn their back to Him...His undying Love...

If anyone knows about unrepricated love it's God, and Jesus death on the cross is His LoveLetter, BIG times, to us.

I've become a Pharmasist!

2008-05-23T21:51:00.006+01:00

Did you know you can make penicillin out of coffee?..well, old coffee? :)! My kitchen is a living proof of it. I guess tomorrow will be a morning of disinfectation armed with economy-sized bottle of bleach hey?..
No marriage proposals from fellow-bloggers then?..

I'm having a break, well-deserved one after 3000 words in the last days plus working plus being the usual neurotic thinking far too much, I gave this up today. You know people give up drinking, give up smoking, give up chocolate..you know, they do less harm than neurotic thinking, because mind affects body more than anything. So I've given that up today and it feels funny being in a good mood and laughing, it's a challenge and am ready for it. So, am munching on risotto with mushrooms, zucchini (we Italians don't call them courgette:), olive oil, garlic and onions and I will mostly be watching a film later, my fingers undoubtedly wandering on my knees looking for the keyboard but they'll cope without it.
The film in question, first time my SKY-subscription will be worth something, is Gene Hackman 'The'......(goes and looks for most sold telly-mag in UK) 'The Conversation'.

Oh, here it is, bye for now. That's me and my platter of rise, zucchini and mushrooms (no I didn't grow them in my kitchen) off to the sofa.

p.s. I've done my 'short'-list: 12 UK publishers and 2 US publishers

p.s. did you know that many films start with an aereal-shot, it's a trick to make you think it's a big production:) clever hey?

No Counting Sheep

2008-05-21T21:56:00.003+01:00

Ha-Ha! I'm back, only for 2 minutes, to say that I am still working hard, lots of writing, drowning in information from Atlases, history-books, Judaism-books and more. I'm doing the fun part now, writing the story and not editing old-english words, phew!, that bit is over and done with.

I'm kicking off again in a mo' but thought I had a tiny break first:) no wine, no choc-cookies, no Lavazza, no counting sheep:).

Hopefully I really get it out next Tuesday and then I will start biting my nails for the first time in my life:)

2 1/2 Bottles of Red Wine Later...

2008-05-11T20:41:00.007+01:00

I'm three days late according to..my self-set schedule. Things took longer than expected and I have just about finished that which I hoped to do Thursday night. Oh well, at least it's done. The teasing out one story out of four (Gospels) exchanging all the 'thou's and 'hast's, updating the archaic words and so on for a more digestible English, reformatting it, making it more into a story and what is left is the fun part. Fatting it out, colouring it! And of course it's nine now..on a Sunday evening and I know that I should really prepare for my coming week, but I just want to finish off a few more bits and hopefully go to bed this side of midnight.

Today was the Global Day of Prayer, in memory of Pentecost, that which I spoke of a few days ago. It was amazing and the church was rocking!:) I was prayed over and fell!!! I had this warmth going through me, His power...amazing. A lady had a message for me "The good job He has started with you He will finish"..not only that..He is talking to me so much, particularly these last days, and whereas I would perhaps question my sanity, I'm getting more and more convinced that this, 'A Shared Moment of Destiny' is my calling..

Now then, here is Rossanna. Isn't she lovely!

It's from the May Bank-holiday (and I promise I will blog properly about it soon).
I took this picture with an old SRL camera, was trying it out. It has substituted my older camera I started off with in the early 90s.
Looking at the photos it has made I feel that nothing beats film as opposed to digital. Yes, digital is very practical and if any of you have an old one lying around that you don't need, please send me it to support a poor unpublished writer:)

Film has more of a soft edge to it.

And here's a picture of my dad's hometown, in fact, he was born in one of these houses.

And finally, the wedding-pix I took after a few hours sleep on Friday and dito sheep-counting, went fine:)

Saviour of Few, Fall of Many

2008-05-09T01:47:00.006+01:00

Aaah!! Lavazza, Coffee, Yes
But......it has only taken effect now (02.15...am!!) ...not 2 hours ago when I was struggling to finish off a massive chunk of my draft-novel which is going to various publishers next week.

Having said that, it shouldn't take long til I fall asleep of boredom having counted sheep 300 times and I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn as usual. No, the undersigned is taking wedding-pictures at 11.00:) haven't done that for ages. ...
I used to work as a photographer part-time. So we shall see, if the pictures are all fussy it's beacuse i'm still speeding on Lavazza:)

These next few days are so exciting, tomorrow I shall edit what I've written tonight, read up more on Judaism and the culture etc. at Jesus' times, fat up this bit of the draft, finish off marking publishers in the directory.

Saturday, print out the whole thing edit and fat out.
Sunbathe on my terrace believe it or not!
Make a list of the publishers

Sunday, church really exciting because it's Pentecost, the day when, after Jesus' resurrection, the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples forthe first time and they started to speak in tongues (The Spiritual language) and also in foreign languages so that everyone could understand them (I've got stories to tell about that, how for example people who don't speak Russian suddenly started to do so to Russian people etc etc.) but it' sa great day for the power of healing and many many things so Sunday at church will be extra special, also the day of global prayer, when all believers around the world arejoined the whole day praying together, amazing. Prayer breaks the prison-wall of the Matrix we live in. Anyway, re-read and if necessary edit for the last time, print off together with nice presentation, cv, etc. blah blah:) pack into little packages and

Monday morrow, off to the post office!

Then...wait..wait..and wait:) And get a result!!!! Or even two where they fight over who will have it:)

I will keep you updated:)

Today I had the great pleasure of speaking with old friends overseas, yes, I was 'supposed to' do other things but I just had to escape it all and it was great: Luciana who I went with to Italy (Milan) 18 years ago..for 6 months which became 3 1/2 years for me and for her, well she's still there, married, 7-year old and one other on the way in July.
Then there's Mimmi:) in Gothenburg who's a chapter on her own, great friend since we were 16 (22 years ago!! oh mine, no wonder I'm looking at L'oreal's revita-lift ads on telly) inventing a code by knocking so we could 'talk' with each other in the night through the wall (no I haven't done time:)
And finally Tomi, in Gothenburg too, who was a head shorter than me 21 years ago but soon became a tree:) who too is expecting a 2nd one in June! All these babies! So, great!

I will see next week, when I take a break from novel-writing, if I can do some blogging and add some fun pictures from then.

Til then off to sheep-land.

33

2008-05-04T19:46:00.003+01:00

I can't believe it! I'm done! I've finished the Prologue to the Novel! Well, the draft thereof. 13 pages in the last 4 hours, all I need now is to finetune it. But I will have to walk away from it now for a while, I'm still too emotional about it, about The Fall that took place in Eden. I cried but hammered on on the keyboard. I will go back to it in a few days. Tie it up with the rest of the Novel and send it off to selected Publishers and then wait and wait and wait. A Joy! At least it's done. No I am not blowing my own trumpet, I'm just overjoyed that I have met my deadline, by one hour:)

Father thank you for giving me this.

And the most exhilirating of all was when I looked down at the total page-count of the Prologue....33, just like the amount of years he was with us..on Earth.

Bye for now. In to kitcken for some well-deserved food. I'm depressed and will have to occupie my mind with something else, but I'm sure it's normal when writing.

To all of you who are supporting me in this sometimes lonely adventure, THANK YOU, I love you to bits

Kennel Cough, Tarantulas ...Period

2008-04-28T19:56:00.010+01:00

It's the end of another day in 'Sanitation-Land', I work, we'll get back to this point later, as a self-employed Cleaner, and since it's Monday, I'm having my me-evening. This may sound luxoroius to the unitiated. Well, my day consisted of driving from client a to b with a sick pup in the backseat, caughing her heart out and looking at me with begging eyes, and I cant do anything because the darn thing is viral. She picked it up in the park, I only brought them there last week to give them something special, and didn't I succeed?

Next we have her mum, looking at me as if I'm some kind of idiot having forced upon her this plastic collar...'It's only a scratch on my paw Mum' yes but you eat it, and it becomes yellow and stinky and red and inflamed and Mummy has to clean it sitting on a wet towel with pup runnign around caughing her heart out and you refusing to have your paw cleaned and me wretching having to clear the gunk...so no thanks, collar stays on.
So in back-seat, caughing pup and collar-mum who thinks I'm an idiot. I talk with them in the car, stopping every now and then to put another great idea to 'my' (we'll get to that point too) novel on my dictaphone - which by the way is the voicerecorder on my mob.

Eventually get to the client who forgot I was coming today.Her mum who lives there laughs at everything, she even laughs when she speaks, so does the builder who's been there for over a year, everybody laughs, constantly, and it get's to my nerves because it's not a jolly happy genuine one but rather a 'i don't know what to say now so i am just going to laugh in between' and there's lots of laughing. 'Luckily' am sent to make some beds...big beds, it takes me an hour. Meanwhile I am plotting, and this is my only survival to not end up in a coo-coo-home through my mundane job, I am grateful that I am earning an income but when my head is exploding to finish the novel, it's hard work looking in to a wc, with someone's remains. Don't get me wrong here, I rather work than bum off the income whatever-it's-called benefit, but somedays, and today it was, it's hard work.
So, my plan is to go through the 'Artists' and Writers' Handbook 2008' and mark out all the relevant publishing houses, write to my adorable mum, no she ain't blind, nor Bono's mum, she's mine and she posed with my sunglasses, blog, write on the novel,we'll get to that too, eat something, nutrious and not what I did yesterday; I was so high on having spent my first Sabbath, and most of all doing no WORK, but writing, speeding on McVities digestive milk chocolate biscuits and beer, we'll get to the eating stuff too, in my pink pyjamas, that I forgot to cook (no, I didn't foret o cook my pyjamas, I forgot to make dinner). Something I am going to do tis eve, and eventually watch something something Befana, hang on...(walks to find out proper title and stumbles across plastic-collar on the way) 'Goodbye Bafana', another title added to 'LoveFilm' for research purposes on who to cast for the film to follow the novel. We'll get to that one too.
Then read another 2 lines, that is as much as I get before I fall asleep, not of boredom, of knackeredness, of 'Totally Forgiving Ourselves' amaaazing book, in a nutshell, choose the peace that follows in forgiving yourself rather than the punishment with not, if you want to have a life. God has already forgiven you, and paid for it, so have it on Him, we'll get to that point too later....too many points, I might end up with no food or anything, well, if it goes on, I just continue tomorrow.
So, I finish the 'Laughing Cats Mansion' and drive back to the 'Valley of Henley' again. Get out of the car with 'Wrenching Caugh' and 'Plastic-Your-An-Idiot' to take them for a walk before I dispose of them at home, only on Mondays, don't call the RSPCA, when I notice a cold wet patch on my bum. Having both my hand tied with the two I can't really check it, so I wriggle around, people passing and so on, just to realise that I, grown up woman, have leaked onto my jeans. I tell you what, a year earlier I would have gone through acrobatics in trying to hold two dogs at the same time as wriggling my jacket off to tie it around my waist to hide 'The Patch of Shame' but you see..as a woman (I can call myself that again, and believe me, life on rocket-bottom levels of oestrogen is nothing to look forward to, I now know how it feels to be an old menopausal woman on no HRT-treatment, mastodontically AWFUL!) who hit premature menopause in September but was healed only a week ago by the Lord through prayers, I today wore my patch with pride, knowing that I will have a child, old-crazy-mum probably, but a darn good one. And I will call him Samuel and raise him a godly person to represent that what a man should be...a Man and not something that has been subdued to a woman's slave (and all the Feminist groups of Universe plan to bomb my home tomorrow).
Now you see, I could blog about this too, the reasons for increased violence and disorder in our society is the lack of a man/father-figure, because we (well not I personally) but speaking on behalf of the female (some of them you might wonder if they really are of the 0-+ race) have demasculated the men of our generation, with our constant nag, screams, manipulation and so on. Anyway...so blob, collar, caugh and I walked down the street, got them sorted. Grabbed another choc-cookie and out of the door I was. Have I told you I've put on nearly 2 stones since last year. Not difficult when you weigh 49kgs and the only proof for once-upon-breast are something that looks like used PG-pyramide teabags, we'll get to that one too. So I and my newly acquired double-chin, now with another set of trousers, am not that crazy, spend over 1 hr and a half, colouring my book for the right publishers, and was tired to see that I only had reached letter 'F' when I came across 'Fitzgerald Publishing', sounds inocouous eh? You think, listen to this 'Founded 1974' that's already suspicoius, you know the 70s generation of stuff, but why even mention 1974? Anyway, it gets worse; 'Specialises in the scientific studies of insects and spiders' at this point am almost choking of laughter on my well-earnt Fosters, then, 'Titles include "Keeping Tarantulas and Insects in Captivity", "Tarantulas of the USA"...can you hear Bruce Springsteen...'Boooorn in the USA'. I am not making any point at all, apart from that of one newly found on LSD which am not, just giggling my trousers off.
So far, publishers had been quiet elusive in their descriptions, you come to 'F' gagging for it to finish, bladder exploding, freezing as a punished race in the smoking-garden, thinking of 'Caugh' and 'Collar' trying to enjoy a beer after 'Laughing Cats' in a job you don't want to be in, dying to finish off the novel, searching for the right publishers...and you come across someone quite..I'm not going to use the word 'anal' because it's against my faith, but someone so 'I have got so much time on my hands I am going to write a Spec'... I might be going off the rails her but nevertheless...

Anyway, I come home and on this point, beloved, I thought of getting a kitten and call her 'Honey' so I can shout 'Honey, I'm home when I get in', I proceed to my 'You-have-No-friends' machine to verify that the only exciting 2 messages I have are those from when I scurried , vetting my calls from debt-collecting agencies (we will get to that point too) yesterday to verify that there were my beloved parents and later my beloved and only friend.

I'm again speeding on chocolate, luckily not still in my pink pyjamas, otherwise it would truly be a case to call the coo-coo-people. 'Caugh' has in fact not caughed since I came back, God heard me then, I prayed for her healing. Collar is off and paw, nicely tucked in a plastic bag (o that sounds terrible, her paw is in a bag...on her, i mean, attached, stilll attached, o dear this sounds worse the more I go about it...her paw is simply wrapped up for when we go out again) it's fastened with one of my hairclips, kind of cute.
They are chewing away, content on raw-hide, am smokig too much, thinking about all the stuff I want to put down on my novel tonight, so it can land and breaktrough the already high pile of unread manuscripts of publishers' desks next week, with too little time on my hands and the food i havent cooked yet and it's nearly nine. But hey, the story is here, in a week it will be on publishers' desks, or so I say to maintain sanity in my loo-cleaning, my dogs adore me, true I have one soulmate-friend, who needs an address-book of 50 aquaintances when you can have one true soulmate, Rossanna, I will see if I can put a link to her site here, so talented and most of all a beautiful soul Beech Grove Studio, and above everything, my parents, mum so affectionated and kind and dad so positive and outgoing, both with a heart of pure true GOLD with so much positivity they would be able to raise the dead.

I didn't realise I had so much to say, but looking at all the points I'd like to make, and seeing I can't make them tis eve, I shall come back to it.
In the meantime, I and patch shall make it in to the kitchen, cook, eat, write (ah this is another one, I'm currently in Paradise where everything is so beautiful and there is no sin. I am writing from a poetic heart but I am a joker too by nature, now, conflict, I can't make any jokes whilst we are at Eden, because lets face it, jokes many of times come out of stuff that doesn't exist in Eden. I will soon come out of Eden, I am about to write probably the next 4 most difficult pages of my life, it will make me, and probably the reader too, cry, but then we'll get to nowaday New York for a while before we get to Judea, in a time no one knows of. Maybe that's why am avoiding it, because of the tears...

So, off we go, bickies have finished, caugh has stopped, gone in to sneezing. God is healing her, should have taken 4 days and He has heard my prayers. Thank You Lord. She is now on my lap licking the chocolate bits off my jumper, completely in the way of the keyboard with a slight weeze but oh so loving...how could I possibly get a man in between our perfect threesome?
Collar is off, instead a wag and two pair of loving eyes saying, Mum, we love you, let's eat. And off we go.

My First Sabbath

2008-04-26T14:26:00.002+01:00

I'm finally here after many months of probing by my dearest friend Rossanna, a joyful and highly talented soul, beauty and intellect married into someone I'm proud to be friend of.

So we are at the end of April and it truly seems like Spring has decided to stay. And here I am typing my heart out writing the prologue to my first novel 'A Shared Moment of Duplicity', with the terrace-door open, dogs peacefully chewing away on something that right Now means loads to them, a raw-hide bone. In the background UCB with a great Christian concert on and then me in my pink tracksuit, honouring the Sabbath. Yes my home is an arty mess and dishes needs doing but this is my time to honour Him and writing, and once the sun goes down then I can clean and tidy up...unless I rather keep on writing.

Once I get a camera I will post some pickies too but for now it's the few good ones in my mobile that will do. Like Matti who has an injured paw but taking it very philosophically.

Novel is calling, bye for now.